


With A Little Help From Our “Friends”

by storm_of_sharp_things



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: A little embarrassment, Developing Relationship, James and Alec machinate, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:54:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26109031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_of_sharp_things/pseuds/storm_of_sharp_things
Summary: Bill and Q pine. James and Alec machinate. There is a little embarrassment before things work out. Oh sorry, spoiler, things work out :)
Relationships: Q/Bill Tanner
Comments: 15
Kudos: 23





	With A Little Help From Our “Friends”

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MrKsan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrKsan/gifts).



“You’re an idiot, you know.”

Tanner, standing at his office window, met Bond’s eyes in the reflection. “And a good afternoon to you too, 007,” he said mildly.

Bond came over to stand next to him, looking down at the street below where Q and Alec Trevelyan were walking along and laughing together. “You turned down Q’s invitation to lunch.”

“I fail to see how that’s any of your concern.” Tanner winced slightly as Q took one last look over his shoulder up at the building before they reached the corner. When the two were out of sight, he turned to look at Bond. The infuriating creature was perched on the edge of Tanner’s desk, his arms crossed, a smirk creasing the already deeply furrowed face.

“You’re pining for our lithesome quartermaster and it’s beginning to be painful to watch.” Tanner stared at him, speechless with surprised consternation and Bond rolled his eyes. “I know, I’ve shattered the unspoken code and mentioned a personal thing. And yet the world is not ending.”

Tanner drew himself up and scowled. “Even if I were interested...”

“Which you absolutely are.”

“...Q has far more interesting prospects to choose from. Don’t think anyone misses how you double-ohs dance attendance on him.”

Bond frowned at him. “All right, one, of course we do - where else do you think we can realistically source exploding pens and such - and two, what the hell do you mean ‘more interesting’?”

Tanner gave him a scathing glance. “Even _if_ Q were so inclined...”

“Which he is.”

“...I...what?”

“Q is indeed so inclined, and is specifically interested in _you_. Bill Tanner. MI6 Chief of Staff.”

“...but _why?”_

“Bloody hell, Bill, don’t act like you’re some sort of twisted second-rate monster. Why _wouldn’t_ Q be interested in you?”

“I’m not a field agent, I can’t compare to...”

“Stop right there, you idiot. Why the hell would Q want to be in a relationship with an agent? We’re gone half the time and likely injured and broody when we are here. Let’s not mention the death rate, or the rampant alcoholism, or the adrenaline addiction, or...you know, let’s leave it at that before I get myself down.” Bond gave him a rueful smile and shrugged. “All of which is beside the point. Q wants you and you want him and both of you are idiots. Alec took him out to lunch today to give him this same talk.”

_“What?”_

Bond grinned. “If you hurry to catch up, you might be able to put a stop to it.”

* * *

“...which is why all my reports end with ‘and that’s when I set everything on fire.’”

Q snorted as Alec finished up his story. “None of this is making it more likely that I’ll issue you a portable flamethrower, you realise.”

Alec grinned at him, a charming shark circling in the water. “But Q, less evidence means less paperwork.”

“I’m not sure that six city blocks left in smoldering ashes counts as _less_ evidence.”

Alec grinned reminiscently. “Well, it put me in a good mood anyway, so there’s one positive.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree, I suppose.” Q glanced at him sidelong. “Are you planning to tell me why you invited me to lunch today? And were so forcibly insistent about it?”

Alec hmm’d as they walked. “And just when you were starting to regain your mood. Oh well, I’ve never been fond of playing games...”

Q snorted. “Since when?”

“...so let’s just lay everything out. Tanner turned you down for lunch and James and I decided we’re tired of watching you two dance around each other.”

“You... _what?”_

“You want to boink Tanner and Tanner wants to boink you and...”

_“Boink?”_

Alec grinned. “You’re such an idiot,” he said affectionately.

Q dithered for a moment and then visibly controlled himself. “Well, first of all, you’re an arsehole and second, you’re absolutely wrong.Tanner is clearly uninterested. And, after all, what would he want with me? I’m just...” Q trailed off, thinking about all the time he _hadn’t_ spent in the gym, or in improving his social skills or...anything else really that might make him more attractive to someone like Bill Tanner.

Alec stopped in his tracks to turn and frown at him. “All right, I’ll bite. What could you possibly think is wrong with you? You’re brilliant, you’ve a biting wit, those glasses are just begging to be plucked off and tossed aside, and you’ve the most tempting hair.It’s just crying out for someone to run their hands into it and tug you about.”

Q stared at him, his mouth hanging open, and Alec grinned wickedly as he reached out to tap his chin up. “Better ways to catch flies, quartermaster.”

“You...I...you...”

“Not that I haven’t a tiny torch for you myself, you gorgeous twit of a twink, but you don’t need a here-and-gone-again in your bed, now do you? So James and I are helping.”

“...James? Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” Alec beamed at him. “James is giving Bill the same talk.”

Q felt chills run down his spine and he turned back toward MI6 in a panic, only to see Tanner himself striding towards them.

“Right,” Alec said, backing away hastily but still grinning. “My work here is clearly done so I’ll just be off then.”

* * *

Tanner strode up, taking in Trevelyan’s triumphant grin and Q’s stunned stare, and realized he was too late. He turned on the agent, who winked cheerfully and took off at a trot. “Q, I...”

“Bill,” Q said quietly, but with great determination. “Why did you turn down lunch today?”

He mentally shuffled several wary replies and then gave in to the moment. “Because I’m an idiot?”

“Then I suppose that makes two of us. Shall we try again?” Q asked with a blinding smile.

“Yes. Please.”

Q cleared his throat. “Well Bill, it looks like we’re both free for lunch. How does Thai sound?”

“I think it sounds brilliant. Shall we?”

“Absolutely. We need to plot a suitable revenge on 006 and 007, after all.”

Tanner smirked. “Why quartermaster, it’s very forward of you to flirt so, but I have to admit I’m all in.” He savored the wicked gleam in Q’s eyes and nodded in the direction of a good restaurant, letting their shoulders brush as they walked. “I’m thinking extra paperwork that must be completed online, except that it keeps disappearing before they can save it.”

Q laughed. “Speaking of _flirting_ , Bill...”


End file.
